"But no one waved in the arc lamp's feeble glow for any punk's returning.
No one stood waiting under any arc lamp for any lost sparrow at all."
-The Man with the Golden Arm
"Someone--could it still be that steerer?--cried out in sleep on the other side of the wall--bringing him, out of the wisdom of some ancestral dream, news of salvation to policeman and prisoners, dealers and steerers and captains, blind men and hustling girls, cripples and priestlike coneroos alike.
To the hunter as well as the hunted.
Record Head wept.
Crocodile tears: he belonged to no man at all."
-The Man with the Golden Arm
"Because I understood, a long time ago, so long ago I can't remember where or how I first found it out, that it's all a crazy sort of joke on us all; that there isn't any true meaning to anything that won't be untrue in half an hour, and if you can live through it you're doing fine. If you can live through it, and have a few of the good things on the way--music, a girl, a sense of work that you like, then you're as lucky as possible. I think that, once you get rid of the notion that the world is going to hell unless you keep it from going there personally, you're better off. It frees you to do and say what you think, to talk back and not fall for the hundred myths with which we're deluged every day, and not to expect too much. After all, it's only your life."
-Letter to Joe Haas
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Reviews - Before and After - Explanation
If you've somehow come across this blog and have read some of my other posts, you may have noticed that I am probably adequate enough when it comes to snark, sarcasm, or any of the other mockery traits that are abound in internet writing. Sure, I can complain about and pick apart things I don't like, but can I write about things that I do like, and can I do it in a way that is interesting? I don't think I can. This section of the blog is me trying to.
For me, writing about music or movies or television or just plain things I like is hard. First, it's really hard for me to not sound pretentious or authoritative. Second, I lack the expertise to really explain what it is that I like about something (I have no formal or even informal training and I've never really tried). So I'm going to try to remedy that first point by being self-aware, and hopefully remedy the second point by doing "Before and After" reviews. Basically, I will review each thing twice. For the "before" part, I will review the movie/music just after watching/listening to it, but also before (get it?) I have read anything about the music/movie or watched any special features or any explanations or blahblahyougettheidea.
Now I'll over-explain the "after" part: Later on, I will write a second review of the thing being reviewed (there's got to be a way to write that shorter; "thing being reviewed" seems kinda clunky). That's right, I'll do this after (note how seamless this all is) I've checked around to see what the experts or the artists themselves have to say about it. I'm going to assume the "after" part will be longer, as I seem to miss things easily or don't view them with the right things in mind or whatever.
Anyway, so that's kinda it: a blank-slate review and synopsis from a novice perspective followed by an attempt at a more accurate and informed review. Just like the rest of this blog and including this post, this will no doubt be boring to anyone who isn't me. But: why not?
For me, writing about music or movies or television or just plain things I like is hard. First, it's really hard for me to not sound pretentious or authoritative. Second, I lack the expertise to really explain what it is that I like about something (I have no formal or even informal training and I've never really tried). So I'm going to try to remedy that first point by being self-aware, and hopefully remedy the second point by doing "Before and After" reviews. Basically, I will review each thing twice. For the "before" part, I will review the movie/music just after watching/listening to it, but also before (get it?) I have read anything about the music/movie or watched any special features or any explanations or blahblahyougettheidea.
Now I'll over-explain the "after" part: Later on, I will write a second review of the thing being reviewed (there's got to be a way to write that shorter; "thing being reviewed" seems kinda clunky). That's right, I'll do this after (note how seamless this all is) I've checked around to see what the experts or the artists themselves have to say about it. I'm going to assume the "after" part will be longer, as I seem to miss things easily or don't view them with the right things in mind or whatever.
Anyway, so that's kinda it: a blank-slate review and synopsis from a novice perspective followed by an attempt at a more accurate and informed review. Just like the rest of this blog and including this post, this will no doubt be boring to anyone who isn't me. But: why not?
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Bouncing Souls/Anti-Flag Split CD
Item: Bouncing Souls/Anti-Flag Split CD
Bought for: N/A
Sold for: $0.99
Title: Bouncing Souls Anti-Flag BYO Split CD Great! 2002
Description: Up on the chopping block right now is the Bouncing Souls and Anti-Flag Volume IV Split CD, as part of BYO's Split Series. There's six songs by each band. Not sure if any of them are good, because I stopped listening to this nonsense like 5 years ago, but there's a Buzzcocks cover, and the Buzzcocks are cool. They had those three great albums in the late 70s, then broke up for a while, and then got back together. Wikipedia says they're still a band and that veterans Pete Shelley and Steve Diggle are still in the band. I thought it was kinda cool when their song was used in that car commercial a few years back. And "Singles Going Steady"? Man, that's a good compilation. Yep, the Buzzcocks are cool. . .wait. . .um, I kinda lost where I was going with this. Uh, buy this CD or something.
Picture of Auction
Bought for: N/A
Sold for: $0.99
Title: Bouncing Souls Anti-Flag BYO Split CD Great! 2002
Description: Up on the chopping block right now is the Bouncing Souls and Anti-Flag Volume IV Split CD, as part of BYO's Split Series. There's six songs by each band. Not sure if any of them are good, because I stopped listening to this nonsense like 5 years ago, but there's a Buzzcocks cover, and the Buzzcocks are cool. They had those three great albums in the late 70s, then broke up for a while, and then got back together. Wikipedia says they're still a band and that veterans Pete Shelley and Steve Diggle are still in the band. I thought it was kinda cool when their song was used in that car commercial a few years back. And "Singles Going Steady"? Man, that's a good compilation. Yep, the Buzzcocks are cool. . .wait. . .um, I kinda lost where I was going with this. Uh, buy this CD or something.
Picture of Auction
Miles Davis CD "Kind of Blue"
Item: Miles Davis CD "Kind of Blue"
Bought for: N/A
Sold for: $1.04
Title: Miles Davis - Kind of Blue CD GREAT Jazz Legend
Description: Miles Davis. The man is a jazz legend. I mean, what can you say about this man? Well, it turns out I know nothing about him other than his name and that I should refer to him as a "Jazz Legend". So, I can't say anything. Except this: I am selling his CD, "Kind of Blue". I hope that's just a title and that he wasn't actually sad when he made it. Was he depressed a lot? I'll use my expansive Miles Davis knowledge to say, definitively, yes he was.
Picture of Auction
Bought for: N/A
Sold for: $1.04
Title: Miles Davis - Kind of Blue CD GREAT Jazz Legend
Description: Miles Davis. The man is a jazz legend. I mean, what can you say about this man? Well, it turns out I know nothing about him other than his name and that I should refer to him as a "Jazz Legend". So, I can't say anything. Except this: I am selling his CD, "Kind of Blue". I hope that's just a title and that he wasn't actually sad when he made it. Was he depressed a lot? I'll use my expansive Miles Davis knowledge to say, definitively, yes he was.
Picture of Auction
Two (2) Bloodhound Gang CDs
Item: Two (2) Bloodhound Gang CDs
Bought for: N/A
Sold for: $0.99
Title: Two (2) Bloodhound Gang CDs Hooray for Boobies and One Fierce Beer Coaster, Two for the price of one!
Description: Here we have the best of all worlds: two kinda scratched but playable CDs of the very popular band The Bloodhound Gang: "Hooray for Boobies" and "One Fierce Beer Coaster". These guys are really hot right now and I can only see them going further. Mark my words, these guys are the next Beatles. There's no way they'll fade into obscurity and irrelevance. It's the year 2000, right?
Picture of Auction
Bought for: N/A
Sold for: $0.99
Title: Two (2) Bloodhound Gang CDs Hooray for Boobies and One Fierce Beer Coaster, Two for the price of one!
Description: Here we have the best of all worlds: two kinda scratched but playable CDs of the very popular band The Bloodhound Gang: "Hooray for Boobies" and "One Fierce Beer Coaster". These guys are really hot right now and I can only see them going further. Mark my words, these guys are the next Beatles. There's no way they'll fade into obscurity and irrelevance. It's the year 2000, right?
Picture of Auction
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Allen Iverson Jersey
Item: Allen Iverson Philadelphia 76ers Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $12.50
Title: Vintage Allen Iverson Philadelphia 76ers Jersey 44 MINT
Description: A famous man once said, "You can't go home again". I dunno who it was and I had to burn all my encyclopedias for firewood this morning, so I guess I'll never know. But you know what I do know? That guy was wrong, and probably really, really old. He never even saw AI play for the Sixers, and now he'll never see AI play for them again. What a jerk. How 'bout you prove that old guy wrong by cheering on Allen Iverson. Oh, and by buying this amazing Allen Iverson Champion jersey from me for a bunch of money. Can't forget that part!
The jersey is a size 44. It measures 19.5" pit-to-pit and 28" from the back of the collar to the bottom. It is made by Champion. This is in excellent condition with no stains, rips or tears! Thanks for looking!
Picture of Auction
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $12.50
Title: Vintage Allen Iverson Philadelphia 76ers Jersey 44 MINT
Description: A famous man once said, "You can't go home again". I dunno who it was and I had to burn all my encyclopedias for firewood this morning, so I guess I'll never know. But you know what I do know? That guy was wrong, and probably really, really old. He never even saw AI play for the Sixers, and now he'll never see AI play for them again. What a jerk. How 'bout you prove that old guy wrong by cheering on Allen Iverson. Oh, and by buying this amazing Allen Iverson Champion jersey from me for a bunch of money. Can't forget that part!
The jersey is a size 44. It measures 19.5" pit-to-pit and 28" from the back of the collar to the bottom. It is made by Champion. This is in excellent condition with no stains, rips or tears! Thanks for looking!
Picture of Auction
Shaquille O'Neal Jersey
Item: Shaquille O'Neal Orlando Magic Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Shaquille O'Neal Orlando Magic Jersey 48 SHAQ
Description: Shaq. We all know him, we all love him. In fact, I just read yesterday in "Beloved Peoples Quarterly" Magazine that Shaq has now moved up into #3 on the magazine's "most beloved people of all-time" list, passing Thomas Aquinas and inching closer to Mr. T. Ol' Tommy may have given us his Four Virtues, but he never dunked over Yao Ming and probably never wrote borderline homophobic rap lyrics. So suck it, Aquinas! Stick it to that Saintly man and buy this vintage Shaq Orlando Magic jersey for a boat load of money!
Picture of Auction
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Shaquille O'Neal Orlando Magic Jersey 48 SHAQ
Description: Shaq. We all know him, we all love him. In fact, I just read yesterday in "Beloved Peoples Quarterly" Magazine that Shaq has now moved up into #3 on the magazine's "most beloved people of all-time" list, passing Thomas Aquinas and inching closer to Mr. T. Ol' Tommy may have given us his Four Virtues, but he never dunked over Yao Ming and probably never wrote borderline homophobic rap lyrics. So suck it, Aquinas! Stick it to that Saintly man and buy this vintage Shaq Orlando Magic jersey for a boat load of money!
Picture of Auction
Vince Carter Jersey
Item: Vince Carter New Jersey Nets Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Vince Carter New Jersey Nets 40 S M 75
Description: Man, I sure picked a bad time to sell this awesome Vince Carter jersey. I mean, what New Jersey Nets fan would want this jersey now that Air Canada has left New Jersey for Orlando? Is the fact that it's a Nets jersey not enough? God, you Nets fans can be so fickle.
But wait: what about Magic fans? Yeah! That's who'd want this! Magic fans are true fans. They don't care that it says another team on the front, they just love their players. They even love them enough to buy this jersey for millions! Way to go, Magic fans! You've saved my farm!
Picture of Auction
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Vince Carter New Jersey Nets 40 S M 75
Description: Man, I sure picked a bad time to sell this awesome Vince Carter jersey. I mean, what New Jersey Nets fan would want this jersey now that Air Canada has left New Jersey for Orlando? Is the fact that it's a Nets jersey not enough? God, you Nets fans can be so fickle.
But wait: what about Magic fans? Yeah! That's who'd want this! Magic fans are true fans. They don't care that it says another team on the front, they just love their players. They even love them enough to buy this jersey for millions! Way to go, Magic fans! You've saved my farm!
Picture of Auction
Kerry Collins Jersey
Item: Kerry Collins New York Giants Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Kerry Collins New York Giants Jersey 40 S M 75
Description: Can you believe it? Kerry Collins is still playing. I mean, he just signed a pretty big deal with the Titans, after leading them to a first round bye last year. So, if you're a Titans fan, you've got to like Kerry. Well, maybe not, because he has been awful this year and now isn't even playing anymore. Actually, if you're a Titans fan, you probably hate Kerry. Whatever, why not buy and wear this awesome New York Giants 75th Anniversary Kerry Collins jersey anyway? I mean, it makes perfect sense.
Um, if you're a Giants fan, replace all that stuff I just wrote with beautiful reminiscence about his stellar few years with the team. And then massively overpay for this jersey.
Picture of Auction
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Kerry Collins New York Giants Jersey 40 S M 75
Description: Can you believe it? Kerry Collins is still playing. I mean, he just signed a pretty big deal with the Titans, after leading them to a first round bye last year. So, if you're a Titans fan, you've got to like Kerry. Well, maybe not, because he has been awful this year and now isn't even playing anymore. Actually, if you're a Titans fan, you probably hate Kerry. Whatever, why not buy and wear this awesome New York Giants 75th Anniversary Kerry Collins jersey anyway? I mean, it makes perfect sense.
Um, if you're a Giants fan, replace all that stuff I just wrote with beautiful reminiscence about his stellar few years with the team. And then massively overpay for this jersey.
Picture of Auction
Keyshawn Johnson Jersey
Item: Keyshawn Johnson Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Keyshawn Johnson New York Jets Jersey 52 XL
Description: Are you down on hard times? No money in your bank account? No job? Have your jersey-buying ways plunged you deep into a debt you'll never recover from, even if you live 4,000 years? I've got the solution: buy this Keyshawn Johnson New York Jets 1996 or 1997 jersey from me. This solution only works, however, if you spend way too much on it. Am I saying this jersey will solve everything, and soon you'll be driving huge mansions and eating caviar-stuffed yachts? Yes, I am saying just that, dude. So open up that wallet and go for it.
Picture of Auction
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99
Title: Vintage Keyshawn Johnson New York Jets Jersey 52 XL
Description: Are you down on hard times? No money in your bank account? No job? Have your jersey-buying ways plunged you deep into a debt you'll never recover from, even if you live 4,000 years? I've got the solution: buy this Keyshawn Johnson New York Jets 1996 or 1997 jersey from me. This solution only works, however, if you spend way too much on it. Am I saying this jersey will solve everything, and soon you'll be driving huge mansions and eating caviar-stuffed yachts? Yes, I am saying just that, dude. So open up that wallet and go for it.
Picture of Auction
Killzone 2 Playstation 3 game
Item: Killzone 2 Playstation 3 game
Bought for: n/a, selling for a friend
Sold for: $32.55
Title: Killzone 2 Playstation 3 game MINT PS3 blu-ray Online
Description: Up for auction here is the Playstation 3 game Killzone 2. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the game, the box, and the instructions. I've never even heard of Killzone 1, but if there's one thing I know about all forms of media, it's that a sequel means excellence, both in the original and the sequel. So buckle the eff up, because this game is twice as good as Killzone 1 and two-thirds as good as Killzone 3 (if it exists yet).
Picture of Auction
Bought for: n/a, selling for a friend
Sold for: $32.55
Title: Killzone 2 Playstation 3 game MINT PS3 blu-ray Online
Description: Up for auction here is the Playstation 3 game Killzone 2. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the game, the box, and the instructions. I've never even heard of Killzone 1, but if there's one thing I know about all forms of media, it's that a sequel means excellence, both in the original and the sequel. So buckle the eff up, because this game is twice as good as Killzone 1 and two-thirds as good as Killzone 3 (if it exists yet).
Picture of Auction
XBox 360 Game Mass Effect
Item: XBox 360 Game 'Mass Effect'
Bought for: n/a, selling for friend
Sold for: $19
Title: Mass Effect Xbox 360 game MINT w/ Bonus Disc! X-Box
Description: Up for auction here is the XBOX 360 game Mass Effect. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the box, the instructions, and a disc of bonus content. I dunno anything about this game, but there's spaceships and aliens and robots and maybe even cyborgs on the cover of it, so it's probably pretty gnarly.
Picture of Auction
Bought for: n/a, selling for friend
Sold for: $19
Title: Mass Effect Xbox 360 game MINT w/ Bonus Disc! X-Box
Description: Up for auction here is the XBOX 360 game Mass Effect. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the box, the instructions, and a disc of bonus content. I dunno anything about this game, but there's spaceships and aliens and robots and maybe even cyborgs on the cover of it, so it's probably pretty gnarly.
Picture of Auction
Borderlands Playstation 3 game
Item: Platstaion 3 Game 'Borderlands'
Bought for: n/a, selling for a friend
Sold for: $47
Title: Borderlands Playstation 3 game MINT PS3 blu-ray
Description: Up for auction here is the Playstation 3 game Borderlands. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the game, the box, and the instructions. The cover has a dude in fingerless gloves blowing his brains out with his own fingers. Plus, his blood and brains are made of murals depicting riots and stuff. Awesome! The back says it's a "Role-Playing Shooter". Radical! There's a co-op mode. Tubular! There's "bazillions of guns". Fantaglismic!
Picture of Auction
Bought for: n/a, selling for a friend
Sold for: $47
Title: Borderlands Playstation 3 game MINT PS3 blu-ray
Description: Up for auction here is the Playstation 3 game Borderlands. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the game, the box, and the instructions. The cover has a dude in fingerless gloves blowing his brains out with his own fingers. Plus, his blood and brains are made of murals depicting riots and stuff. Awesome! The back says it's a "Role-Playing Shooter". Radical! There's a co-op mode. Tubular! There's "bazillions of guns". Fantaglismic!
Picture of Auction
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