Saturday, January 9, 2010

Allen Iverson Jersey

Item: Allen Iverson Philadelphia 76ers Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $12.50

Title: Vintage Allen Iverson Philadelphia 76ers Jersey 44 MINT
Description: A famous man once said, "You can't go home again". I dunno who it was and I had to burn all my encyclopedias for firewood this morning, so I guess I'll never know. But you know what I do know? That guy was wrong, and probably really, really old. He never even saw AI play for the Sixers, and now he'll never see AI play for them again. What a jerk. How 'bout you prove that old guy wrong by cheering on Allen Iverson. Oh, and by buying this amazing Allen Iverson Champion jersey from me for a bunch of money. Can't forget that part!

The jersey is a size 44. It measures 19.5" pit-to-pit and 28" from the back of the collar to the bottom. It is made by Champion. This is in excellent condition with no stains, rips or tears! Thanks for looking!

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Shaquille O'Neal Jersey

Item: Shaquille O'Neal Orlando Magic Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99

Title: Vintage Shaquille O'Neal Orlando Magic Jersey 48 SHAQ
Description: Shaq. We all know him, we all love him. In fact, I just read yesterday in "Beloved Peoples Quarterly" Magazine that Shaq has now moved up into #3 on the magazine's "most beloved people of all-time" list, passing Thomas Aquinas and inching closer to Mr. T. Ol' Tommy may have given us his Four Virtues, but he never dunked over Yao Ming and probably never wrote borderline homophobic rap lyrics. So suck it, Aquinas! Stick it to that Saintly man and buy this vintage Shaq Orlando Magic jersey for a boat load of money!

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Vince Carter Jersey

Item: Vince Carter New Jersey Nets Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99

Title: Vintage Vince Carter New Jersey Nets 40 S M 75
Description: Man, I sure picked a bad time to sell this awesome Vince Carter jersey. I mean, what New Jersey Nets fan would want this jersey now that Air Canada has left New Jersey for Orlando? Is the fact that it's a Nets jersey not enough? God, you Nets fans can be so fickle.
But wait: what about Magic fans? Yeah! That's who'd want this! Magic fans are true fans. They don't care that it says another team on the front, they just love their players. They even love them enough to buy this jersey for millions! Way to go, Magic fans! You've saved my farm!

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Kerry Collins Jersey

Item: Kerry Collins New York Giants Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99

Title: Vintage Kerry Collins New York Giants Jersey 40 S M 75
Description: Can you believe it? Kerry Collins is still playing. I mean, he just signed a pretty big deal with the Titans, after leading them to a first round bye last year. So, if you're a Titans fan, you've got to like Kerry. Well, maybe not, because he has been awful this year and now isn't even playing anymore. Actually, if you're a Titans fan, you probably hate Kerry. Whatever, why not buy and wear this awesome New York Giants 75th Anniversary Kerry Collins jersey anyway? I mean, it makes perfect sense.
Um, if you're a Giants fan, replace all that stuff I just wrote with beautiful reminiscence about his stellar few years with the team. And then massively overpay for this jersey.

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Keyshawn Johnson Jersey

Item: Keyshawn Johnson Jersey
Bought for: $2
Sold for: $4.99

Title: Vintage Keyshawn Johnson New York Jets Jersey 52 XL
Description: Are you down on hard times? No money in your bank account? No job? Have your jersey-buying ways plunged you deep into a debt you'll never recover from, even if you live 4,000 years? I've got the solution: buy this Keyshawn Johnson New York Jets 1996 or 1997 jersey from me. This solution only works, however, if you spend way too much on it. Am I saying this jersey will solve everything, and soon you'll be driving huge mansions and eating caviar-stuffed yachts? Yes, I am saying just that, dude. So open up that wallet and go for it.

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Killzone 2 Playstation 3 game

Item: Killzone 2 Playstation 3 game
Bought for: n/a, selling for a friend
Sold for: $32.55

Title: Killzone 2 Playstation 3 game MINT PS3 blu-ray Online
Description: Up for auction here is the Playstation 3 game Killzone 2. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the game, the box, and the instructions. I've never even heard of Killzone 1, but if there's one thing I know about all forms of media, it's that a sequel means excellence, both in the original and the sequel. So buckle the eff up, because this game is twice as good as Killzone 1 and two-thirds as good as Killzone 3 (if it exists yet).

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XBox 360 Game Mass Effect

Item: XBox 360 Game 'Mass Effect'
Bought for: n/a, selling for friend
Sold for: $19

Title: Mass Effect Xbox 360 game MINT w/ Bonus Disc! X-Box
Description: Up for auction here is the XBOX 360 game Mass Effect. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the box, the instructions, and a disc of bonus content. I dunno anything about this game, but there's spaceships and aliens and robots and maybe even cyborgs on the cover of it, so it's probably pretty gnarly.

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Borderlands Playstation 3 game

Item: Platstaion 3 Game 'Borderlands'
Bought for: n/a, selling for a friend
Sold for: $47

Title: Borderlands Playstation 3 game MINT PS3 blu-ray
Description: Up for auction here is the Playstation 3 game Borderlands. The game is in excellent condition and plays great. It comes with the game, the box, and the instructions. The cover has a dude in fingerless gloves blowing his brains out with his own fingers. Plus, his blood and brains are made of murals depicting riots and stuff. Awesome! The back says it's a "Role-Playing Shooter". Radical! There's a co-op mode. Tubular! There's "bazillions of guns". Fantaglismic!

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